Mommy and Me

Sometimes I wonder if my mom ever wonders why we aren't as close anymore. I have the biggest problem with bottling my troubles up and I don't say anything. If I were to say something I'd tell her that we were really close before, when we didn't live with my dad. Not that he has anything to do with my mom and I moving further apart. It's just that when he became part of the family again, we moved. I really hate moving, it always ruins stuff. I'd love travel all over the world but I'd never want to move. Anyway, I think the biggest factor is that the new job she got when we moved here was definitely different from what I was used to. My mom is a doctor for kids, a pediatrician. The problem is that where we live now, everyone in the community is my mom's patients. Half of my friends knows mom better than me! And even worse it seems as if my mom loves them more or equal than me.

But its not like at her old job she didn't treat some of my friends. When I was little, my mom used to go to other people's houses and treat the little kids there. It was her kind of "little good deed" at the end of the week. She'd always bring me along. I remember she'd always let me help and basically make me feel important. My mom would have me give her the different tools; from otoscopes to thermometers. She taught me what each one did and why.
I know it sounds selfish but it seems as if now she calls everyone her "little sweetheart." it's so obvious when she's just being polite even though you can tell she's exhausted. I've watched her go through 8 patients in one day and say to each one of them the same thing, "there's my favorite little girl!" I guess I'm okay with that, she's just trying to make them feel better so they don't get scared when she starts the shots or the checkups with her tools that definitely would scare a five year old. But it's when she says it to me that I get a little afraid. Is she just being polite like she does it to the other kids?
My mom doesn't take me with her to others' houses anymore. She leaves me at home alone, stuck with homework. The worst part is when i make a friend and then
SHE MEETS MY MOM!!.....,
they start talking for hours and I'm stuck there watching them. It hurts that I can never find a friend who can actually like me without liking my mom more. It also hurts that these people can all talk to her more openly than I ever could (in the years after I moved).

I should be thankful though. I mean I'm so lucky and grateful to God that He gave me a mother, and one who is a doctor. I really am lucky and it's all thanks to God for blessing me. Someday I plan to tell her. I'm just waiting for the right moment, but it seems to never come. There's so many things I haven't said, just blogging this is a real opening up for me. Anyway there's my pathetic story of how I can't tell my mom my problems :( but it's all good. Bye!!

Last Day of weekend

I went to my grandparents house this weekend. Even though I totally blew it off and wasted a whole weekend I was so happy. It was just the relaxation I needed. Well, they live two hours away from my house so we just came back today about two hours ago. I wrote a poem today. I'll show it to u guys l8r

Day Before Eid-ul-Adha

Well its been a long time since i've written. I dont know how old I was in my last post but i'm in tenth grade now. scary I know. Anyway I go to an IB school so of course they relish in the joy of giving us homework :( But thankfully its the weekend. And not just any weekend, a no homework weekend! I bet you can guess what that means- NO HOMEWORK. Ever since i've gone to my IB school me and my friends all have this joke that going to an IB school means having no life including the weekends, unless its a no homework weekend. So now i can say "wow I now have a temporary life!" until monday comes. I hate mondays, who's with me? I mean even the word sounds like, mundane. You know, as in boring. Going back to school, you know im in IB because i haven't even had time to look forward to my holiday which is tommorow. I think this is the first time im actually thinking and mentioning it for this year. Im excited. My holiday is called eid. I am Muslim, and im proud of it. It makes me sad when people hate our religion because they know nothing about it, except from what they here on tv. Any questions, please ask. Anyway, im at the library right now, it makes me sad when you walk into a library and you see millions of shelves full of wonderful books just waiting to be opened, but all the aisles are empty. Then you look at the computer lab and there's the swarm of people to whom those hundreds of cars parked outside belong to. It's like what's the point of coming to a library if you don't read the books? EVEN THE KIDS ARE DOING IT! Anyway see ya guys later, gotta work on a book report :(